That may be a bit harsh, after all, it wasn’t exactly Jesus who was the third wheel, it was the institution of religion that changed the course of my relationship.
Before I continue, I am a Christian and this post is not meant to hurt anyone, I just want to point out a downside to a particular Christian practice.
My fiance, well, he’s my ex now, is a devote Christian. He is easily the most kind, most God-fearing man I have ever met. During college, he went home every weekend, not only to work at the part-time job he had at the small-town pharmacy, but also so that he could go to church with his momma. It was this part of him that drew me to Christ. How could anybody be so positive, such a good person all of the time? Jesus. That’s the only answer I needed…at the time.
After fours years of dating, he was half-way through college and I had just finished my freshman year at Miami University, he proposed. We were smart, we were mature, but we were always apart. This distance, of course, was also a factor in our separation, but it was what happened, or what wasn’t allowed to happen, whenever we were together that caused some problems.
As part of the Christian religion, and frankly most religions are guilty of this, a couple who is unmarried are not permitted to sleep with one another. Now, I completely understand that telling high school students, or even immature college kids, that you should wait to have sex until marriage is valid, though not very practical. Anyway, it wasn’t even not being able to have sex that was bugging me, it was not being trusted, it was never having alone-time, it was sneaking around to steal a few kisses.
Both of us we old enough to drink, we lived in off-campus apartments when we were at school, we bought our owe groceries, we paid our owe bills… But when we were finally together after weeks, heaven forbid we be allowed to hold each other as we slept.
After 6 and a half years of dating, our relationship had barely been able to grow beyond a high-school-sweetheart level. Of course, this isn’t the only factor in our break-up, but it definitely had an impact… at least on me.
This isn’t just a rant, it’s a reminder to my future self to not harm a young love by trying to protect innocence based on traditions from Biblical times. They may have worked then, but this is the 21st century. You wouldn’t expect people, for example, to make dinner without using a microwave or electric stove just because Jesus didn’t. So, why shouldn’t our social customs grow and change?